18 by midnight

Tonight at midnight will be the day I finally reach 18 of age.
Got Sushi King(ate like monsterrrr roaar)
 and awesome Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny DVD's(RM120 O_O)
 which both are PRE-birthday present from my brother.
and whats more I finally "kind off" finish my Policy Statement for a speech for a conference that I recently enlisted into for which has became a nightmare for me for the past few weeks or so.
 --,-- I regretted ever entering this conference and hoped that in the future I will laugh at my foolishness and naivety for thinking that it was just "a" conference where I only hear speeches OTHER people made and not from ALL the participants of the conference.
Like seriously, I didn't even know what Policy statement is until a week ago and I don't even know how to do it until yesterday. Can you imagine my nightmare?  with little knowledge(mind you I don't read S.Africa news) I had to write a 2 minute essay and was restless for days.

(sigh) ok so back to 18 by midnight...
I'm planning to watch a PG18 horror movies at a cinema where I have a bit of grudge on(mind you I have a baby face so most people thought I was a 12 years old kid) for always always always stopping me from getting PG18 tickets. I mean I'm already 18 by year and its not like I don't even watch horror movies at home. And technically I always get stopped for my face. So this time if they stop me again I'm so gonna have WW3 for my own closure. wait for A cinema. an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. all is fair in love and war. etc.

Ja Matane. See ya later.

Broken Hearted or Regret? or..both?

 I had a guy I like for years. From freshman year all the way to my senior year.
 He occupied my mind for years and i asked the same question to my friends.."why did i like him?"
 Every year went by and I never confessed till the end.
 Anyway, he got a girlfriend by his senior year and I thought..
 "wow, a great chance for me to finally stop thinking about him.."
 I never liked the idea of liking him.. and sometimes I find myself wondering "Do i really like him but if yes,
 why?"
 And when he got a girlfriend .. I wasn't sure exactly and specifically what I felt when I found out.
 I couldn't trace what my true feelings are and so as day goes by I started to think.
 By the end of the day, I conclude that.. i didn't like him for him but for his initial personality that
 differentiated him from all the other boys I knew at the school at the time.
 When he became like hmmmm sort of like a colleague later in the third year?, changes in him started to
 occur.. He became a bit more like the other boys and then finally got(I guess) what he ever wanted....
 a girlfriend.
 When he changed, instead of looking at the present him I was searching for the old him(hahaha..)
 His old self still attracted me instead of the new him and yeah I still couldn't forget about him and I knew
 why.. its because he was always inside my head for years straight.
Even now I wondered, whether instead of a broken heart, was what i felt was regret?. Regret ever liking him?.

My Lesson,

1.Never ever try to forget something, those memories are a part of me.
2.Thank God I only had a crush no admired him coz Falling in love with a husband is way better.

I'm in love

Been busy with school and mid-term etc
and so today just got back from hostel and am in love and writing this..on 27/9/13

He is ........Roy Kim <3 nbsp="" p="">LoL fan much. oh but I just started being his fan today.
why him? well mostly of course for his wonderful songs that wonderfully made me cry..:)
I rarely get this fan mode with k-pops..
the only other korean singer/band/etc I aknowledge is BigBang, Lee Hi and Sungha Jung.. though for BigBang... I thought of BigBang as international and not of K-pop era since I knew them before K-pop became a trend and oh last year I went to their concert right before my big exam and it was awesomeee(my first concert).okay okay enough about BigBang they are for other posts. Back to Roy Kim :) :) :) can't stop smiling..I just love his songs and then did I love him :) hehe here is the album in which all of the songs came to my liking (which is rare for me) since just now and all thanks to We Got Married (well I do follow WGM and Running Man since I love romance and war)

Love is in the air~~
(I'm hoping my future husband can play guitar, I'll just fall for him more and more then ever if he played for me.Thats like value adding.)

The way he wants to, the way he would and the way he could

  I don't want a guy to move at my pace

  I want him to move at his own pace

  The way he wants to, the way he would

  But ... at the end the of the street

  He would still wait for me and ask for my hand

  and if he could not catch up to my pace

  He would make wait for him

  The way he wants to, the way he could.

 I don't want a guy to be different from who he was and is when he's with me

 I want him to be himself just like he is with his family, his friends and when he's alone

 The way he wants to, the way he would and the way he could

 I want him to capture my heart just by being himself

 The way he wants to, the way he would and the way he could

 He is who he is, I just want him to be him.

 I'm not looking for a prince charming neither a gentleman

 I'm not looking for a perfect as perfect a guy can be

 I'm just looking for a lifetime companion

 I'm just looking for a person that completes me and 

 I to completes him.

 I'm incomplete, I'm not perfect

 I'm just a normal human being

 Again, a normal guy is enough for me.

NOW !

As of just now that I started to "flip" back what I did, wrote or whatever you call it at this old blog that I left for almost 2 years.

I don't know.. I felt like it I guess. I just somehow needed to type something since I'm to lazy to write using a pen. And what better place to do that than with this old bloggy.

First Story : I went to INTI to study Cambridge A-Level Humanities.
                   I feel awesome at first since a lot of chinese is here, and not many malays at first.
                   Staying here made me open my eyes (thats for sure)
                   It made me realized what I had forgotten since I came to Putrajaya.
                   It made me realized that "this is Malaysia. A country with so many different race and           
                   background". I mean we have to cope with each other since we were born here together.
                   Have I been living with my own race for far too long?

Second Story : My friend had a crush on her classmate.
                       He is a chinese boy with a very strong character(based on her stories)
                       When I met him in Law class I thought "Yea, he is cool and a bit handsome"
                       That typical bad boy character revolves around him just makes him look cool I guess and I 
                       was sure no one else could pull that off other than himself since he doesn't fake it and other
                       boys do. Too bad he already has a girlfriend and I just knew this recently to.
                       but then all of the sudden..
                       on September 17th, 2013 , He died.
                     
Third Story :  Went to his funeral.
                     First time I knew what a chinese buddha funeral  looks like.
                     I asked once to my chinese classmate "In Buddha funeral, do they always close the body?"
                     He said "oh No, when you die in a natural way you don't have to close it but if you died in an
                     accident or something like that you have to close the body because it is considered bad luck if
                     you did not" I just said "oh(and daze through the day)"

 You see all the story above are completely unrelated to one another but I just wanted to
 type about it.
 Because that boy death made me cry, made me thought all of this and made me headache.