18 by midnight

Tonight at midnight will be the day I finally reach 18 of age.
Got Sushi King(ate like monsterrrr roaar)
 and awesome Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny DVD's(RM120 O_O)
 which both are PRE-birthday present from my brother.
and whats more I finally "kind off" finish my Policy Statement for a speech for a conference that I recently enlisted into for which has became a nightmare for me for the past few weeks or so.
 --,-- I regretted ever entering this conference and hoped that in the future I will laugh at my foolishness and naivety for thinking that it was just "a" conference where I only hear speeches OTHER people made and not from ALL the participants of the conference.
Like seriously, I didn't even know what Policy statement is until a week ago and I don't even know how to do it until yesterday. Can you imagine my nightmare?  with little knowledge(mind you I don't read S.Africa news) I had to write a 2 minute essay and was restless for days.

(sigh) ok so back to 18 by midnight...
I'm planning to watch a PG18 horror movies at a cinema where I have a bit of grudge on(mind you I have a baby face so most people thought I was a 12 years old kid) for always always always stopping me from getting PG18 tickets. I mean I'm already 18 by year and its not like I don't even watch horror movies at home. And technically I always get stopped for my face. So this time if they stop me again I'm so gonna have WW3 for my own closure. wait for A cinema. an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. all is fair in love and war. etc.

Ja Matane. See ya later.

Broken Hearted or Regret? or..both?

 I had a guy I like for years. From freshman year all the way to my senior year.
 He occupied my mind for years and i asked the same question to my friends.."why did i like him?"
 Every year went by and I never confessed till the end.
 Anyway, he got a girlfriend by his senior year and I thought..
 "wow, a great chance for me to finally stop thinking about him.."
 I never liked the idea of liking him.. and sometimes I find myself wondering "Do i really like him but if yes,
 why?"
 And when he got a girlfriend .. I wasn't sure exactly and specifically what I felt when I found out.
 I couldn't trace what my true feelings are and so as day goes by I started to think.
 By the end of the day, I conclude that.. i didn't like him for him but for his initial personality that
 differentiated him from all the other boys I knew at the school at the time.
 When he became like hmmmm sort of like a colleague later in the third year?, changes in him started to
 occur.. He became a bit more like the other boys and then finally got(I guess) what he ever wanted....
 a girlfriend.
 When he changed, instead of looking at the present him I was searching for the old him(hahaha..)
 His old self still attracted me instead of the new him and yeah I still couldn't forget about him and I knew
 why.. its because he was always inside my head for years straight.
Even now I wondered, whether instead of a broken heart, was what i felt was regret?. Regret ever liking him?.

My Lesson,

1.Never ever try to forget something, those memories are a part of me.
2.Thank God I only had a crush no admired him coz Falling in love with a husband is way better.